And that’s makes me see myself soo alone yet the truth is i am not.

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Saya sadar kalau semakin saya bertambah umurnya semakin saya kesulitan untuk membagi kehidupan pribadi saya, memberitahu orang terdekat  apa yang terjadi di hidup saya tanpa di tanya terlebih dahulu adalah hal yang sulit, ada titik di mana saya membutuhkan teman untuk berbagi tapi ketika teman tersebut memberikan waktunya saya memilih untuk “let these alien feeling simmer down” dan menceritakan mereka nanti, walaupun secara sadar saya sangat ingin memberitahunya kalau semuanya baik-baik saja dan dia tidak perlu khawatir, lupakan apa yang saya katakan sebelumnya.

I know this is not a good thing, but after everything i read and watched to motivate myself, it still hard for just unconsciously open up, i have an abandoned issue since my childhood and I have not recovered from it. This issue fuck me up on my  teenager age, i am better now, stronger, but just because i hold myself to tight. Try doing anything alone if i can. As a feeling/emotional person it hard.

It hard because human need another human to feel more human (for comfort) and here i am make effort to not need another human. I promise i will trying, at least pouring how i feel or whatever coming on my mind, i already had this journal that i bring every time i visited some place so when i feel overwhelm i will write it.

 

 

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